Editor’s note: This piece is reprinted with permission from Michael Quinn Sullivan’s Friday Reflection series in the Texas Minute daily email, published by Texas Scorecard. You can subscribe to the Texas Minute here.

A lot of energy is expended in trying to control things. From national politicians to HOA Karens, and seemingly everyone in between, much of life is spent in the reckless pursuit of controlling others.

Of course, civil society does require some set of controls on behavior. As St. Paul explained, government ideally exists as “an avenger who carries out God’s wrath on the wrongdoer.”

But in our daily lives, too many of us spend an inordinate amount of time trying to control everyone around us … with very little to show for it except frustration and failure.

I know people who let their attitude (good or bad) for a third of the year be determined by the performance of college-age men on a football field. Yell as hard as they might from the living room couch, that receiver just won’t take their counsel.

There are only three things any of us can truly control. Those are:
1) Who I trust at any given time;
2) How I react to circumstances; and
3) What I do in a given situation.

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I cannot force you to trust anyone; I can only perhaps explain why I trust the people I do. You cannot make me honestly react favorably to circumstances I find intolerable, any more than I can compel your sincere actions.

Certainly, a sword dangling over my head might compel me to reassess things … even if only temporarily. But even then, a great many people have, despite a gun to their head, chosen to retain control over themselves.

Nathan Hale could have forsaken the cause of Independence and perhaps escaped the British hangman’s noose. William Travis could have flown the white flag of surrender from the Alamo and been temporarily feted by the Mexicans. Yet, neither man would be fondly remembered by anyone today had they done so.

Ultimately, it was their sense of personal control that we celebrate—even revere—to this day. They chose to make their lives count for something bigger than themselves. They did so by doing what they could in their circumstances.

The stakes are much lower for most of us, but we similarly cannot delude ourselves about what is within our control. Our joy must not depend on controlling others, but we can start to find a measure of peace by controlling ourselves.

The circumstances of our lives may not always (or ever!) be what we choose, but we can control what we do in them. We can cower as victims or rest in our convictions. That choice is, and always remains, our own.